For all of you blog readers out there, this does not reflect the actual 'quality' of my blogposts, this is my attempt to procrastinate and excuse to swear at biquan for tagging me.
Layer One – On the outside
Name: Sampson Lim
DOB: 24/2/92
Current status: I'm procrastinating from studying math
Eye Colour: Purple, because no one else has purple eyes
Hair Colour: Purple, because i refuse to make "black as a blacksmith" jokes.
Righty or Lefty: Right.
Layer Two – On the Inside
Your Heritage: Sorry but this doesn't even make sense.
Your Fears: Since my DICS profile says i am a D.I.C. it means my greatest fear is 'being taken advantage of', 'rejection' and (i can't remember whats next). This is all bullshit. I'm actually afraid of evil purple bunnies attacking the universe and taking away cookies.
Your Weaknesses: I refuse to admit my mistakes because according to my D.I.C. personality, i have " a strong ego"
Your Perfect Pizza: Pizza is perfect when it is non-existent, with extra cheese
Layer Three – Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your Thoughts First Waking Up: I got to stop doing that..
Your Bedtime: This is such a boring question that i refuse to make a joke out of it.
Your Most Missed Memory: There was this time...but i forgot
Layer Four – Your pick
Pepsi or Coke: I enjoy poisoning my innards thank you. Coke
McDonald’s or Burger King: I enjoy clogging up my arteries, thank you. Mcdonald's
Single or group dates: No dates :(
Adidas or Nike: Adidas, cos RI BASKETBALL GOT ADIDAS SPONSERSHIP
Tea or Nestea: Nestea, because thats the only brand of tea i know.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee:Aren't they the same thing?
Layer Five – Do You
Smoke: You don't want to hear my views on this. (but it involves rat poison, cigarettes and a slogan about, hit them before they hit you)
Curse: bah
Have a crush: If i told you, i might break down and cry and emo around in my room. Or maybe i'd just hit you really hard with a really large, sharp object and hope you forget everything in the morning.
Think you’ve been in love: Ditto
Go to school: Bah!
Want to get married: Yeap.
Believe in yourself: i have a "strong ego"
Think you’re a health freak: As you can see by my indiscriminante urge to clog my arteries and burn out my innards in acid, obviously not. What was your first clue?
Layer Six – In The Past Month Have you…
Drank alcohol: No, only time i tasted alcohol was at a funeral, and it was bitter
Gone to the mall: No, i live in a hole in tarzania
Eaten sushi: Yeah, apparently like the rest of the deluded world, i enjoy paying exorbitant amounts for stuff that isn't even cooked.
Dyed your hair: No, i am guai.
Layer Seven – Have You Ever…
Played A Stripping Game: Horny little bastards aren't you all?
Changed Who You Were To Fit In: No, i crudely barge into the social niche people have carefully taken years to craft themselves into, and destroy it like a rabid rabbit
Layer Eight – You’re Hoping
To Be Married: I'm obviously not the only one around here with shit memory
For a: Life
Layer Nine – In a Girl
Best Eye + Best Hair Color Combination: Huh?
Short Hair or Long Hair: You have to be pretty damn close to retarded if you go for girls because their hair is long or short
Layer Ten – What Were You Doing
1 Min Ago: Procrastinating
1 Hour Ago: Procrastinating
4.5 Hours Ago: Procrastinating
1 month Ago: Procrastinating
1 Year Ago: Procrastinating
Layer Eleven – Finish The Sentence
I Love: everything except things i don't love
I Feel: my keyboard retard.
I Hate: everything except things i don't hate
I Hide: uh...peek-a-boo?
I Miss:everything that has happened before me, life is so screwed, its memorable in a warped sort of way.
Layer Twelve – Tag Five People
I have a conscience.
After doing this, i am so disgusted with blogging that it has inspired me to do math. Yay. (8
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Taxi Tantrums
Well, nobody believes my story that i'm mugging my ass off. So its time to tell you the truth..everyone...all this time you've thought me as a normal guy...but the truth is....
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(would be real sad if there was nothing at the end no?)
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(this is to torture those with tiny screens...scroll fools! SCROLL MORE!)
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(If your screen is large, i hate you..stop reading my blog and go watch teletubbies you large screen freak)
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I'm an evil alien (green...with stubby...alien arms...with a head larger than my body..with a mouth that is constantly emitting wierd...alien noises...with no hair...wait, isn't that biquan?(cue twilight zone music))monster plotting to take over the world
I am sorry for hiding my identity for so long, even among some of my (imaginary) closest friends, please don't kick me out of the school because of the fact that i am an alien, i have feelings too!
Of course there might be some of you thickheaded ones who don't believe me...(even worse are the people that do believe me)...
So if you're obviously schizo, and hear voices in your head telling you i'm totally freaking insane. Well, the voices are right, but you're still schizo.
So for all of you (schizo) people out there, heres the real truth--> I've lost all my hair, i lost 20cm, and my face grew rounder and larger, i am currently emoing in my room, and i've been wearing a wig for the past 3 weeks. My computer keyboard is covered in red, wait no, black emo blood, mixed with eyeshadow, mascara and lots and lots of black hair dye and emo-smelling hair-gel.
Now that i have wasted five minutes of your overrated life, i now have my excuse that i have posted. Goodbye. Good luck for EOYS.
If you believed that, you are obviously a)Blind b)Stupid c)Blind and Stupid d) Elmo
And if you need me to explain why you shouldn't believe that, you have the IQ of a coffee stain.
Just in case coffee stains read my blog, the statement two paragraphs ago can't possibly be true because i am an evil lying alien...DUH
Now that we've tripled your IQ, its time for me to get...well not serious because i'm never serious on this blog...but it's time to rant more seriously.
I hate taxi roaches. What are taxi roaches?Well...what are roaches? They're ugly, and they piss you off. What are taxis? Cars that drive you places for a ridiculous sum of money unless you are traveling in Singapore at 2am in the morning. Well what are taxi roaches then? Ugly people that piss you off while taking taxi because they jump out of nowhere and steal the taxi that was driving right at you. See the connection? I don't.
Today, i urgently needed to get a taxi. It's like how when you need to piss real bad, but there's never a toilet around? Yeah that was the feeling (minus the pissing). I waited for 15 minutes!900 seconds! for a single taxi to drive by me. But there were none.
Suddenly, (it was a dark and stormy night) a glimmering beacon of hope appeared! TAXI, with flashing beautiful, exotic, wonderful, colorful green lettering! I was just about to stretch out my hand...And suddenly, my view was obscured by a bunch of guys that looked like they were going to a death metal concert.
One guy had a Mohawk that made the Gatsby advert guy look like elmo, the other guy had more piercings on his face than i had teeth. The rest..i couldn't see because they were obscured by a large cloud of (menthol) cigarette smoke.
For fear that they would litter the Singapore river with my body parts (they should see Mrs Foo about that, she seemed really enthusiastic about taking apart body parts during the biology DMP) , i decided to let them have the taxi, in full confidence that i would not be that unlucky again.
Taxi roaching is an art. First, you must gain better ground, if your target is standing at the bus stop waiting for a taxi, wait in front of the bus stop, if your target is standing in front of the bus stop, wait at the end of the road where there is an intersection(in front of the person in front of the bus-stop), if your target is standing at the end of the road where there is an intersection(in front of the person in front of the bus-stop), wait at the opposite side of the road, closer to where the taxis are coming in from. And if your target is standing there...go back to the bus stop and laugh about it on your blog. Next you must assert your dominance :if you can't beat your soon-to-be roached target into a billion tiny little bloody bits, then you must assault the conscience.
While i was waiting for the taxi, this aunty with a child hopped over in front of me, ready to roach me till i cry. I wasn't the only one thinking of crying of course, as the child happened to be doing a lot of that, plus incoherent sobbing that coherently sounded like impatient gasps of incoherence.
Yet again the taxi approached, probably recognising that i had been roached, the taxi driver sportingly drove in front of me instead of the aunty. It was at this moment, that 2 decades of roaching experience matched up to my measly 20 minutes of experience, and she gave me this horrible stare, that made me feel as if i had killed a kitten, a really cute kitten, with a real large stone, which had spikes on them, spikes which had rat poison on them, which i had used previously to kill the mother and father of the kitten, whose corpses i tossed into Kallang drain...well you get the idea.
Defeated, I gave this feeble sort of wave thingy, which i meant to mean "let her take it". The taxi driver, obviously annoyed that i rejected his gesture of Friendliness, Understandingly Carried the lady and her child with Kindness.(little kids and coffee stains, look away!)
By the time the next taxi came along, i almost couldn't be bothered to attempt to flag it down, there was this woman who had cleverly positioned herself 10 metres away from the spot i was in, obviously a master at work- close enough to steal my taxis, but far enough to feign blindness and ignorance. Obviously though, i must have looked like a threat to her taxi roaching ambitions, for when the taxi came, she was shaking her hands like the times when we used to play those shaking digivices. Either she was a digimon master, or she was seriously into the taxi roaching, because her hand action really transcended shaking, it was like watching Parkinsons on steroids.
Although the taxi driver, obviously intimidated by the incredible fist of eternal vibration(+10 to taxi driver intimidation) decided to go fetch the taxi roacher instead of the useless inexperienced kid standing 10 metres away- close enough to know what he was doing, but far enough to feign blindness and ignorance, by sheer beginners luck, another taxi came along!
As i was about to get into the taxi, i noticed the other taxi was unable to bring the lady to her destination and therefore she had to find another one. Our eyes met for a split-second moment, and in that moment, we both knew that there was one taxi-and two of us. With agility i had not demonstrated in 3 months, i slid into the taxi, gave my destination, and shut the door real tight, in one slick movement.
Sampson-1 Taxi Roacher-0
As the taxi drove past her, i could have sworn i heard the woman cursing fluently in perfect beijing mandrin, and that gleaming moment of triumph lasted a glorious two minutes until i realized that it was in fact not 2am in the morning and i was paying a ridiculous sum of money to be 30 minutes late.
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(wow this is taking up a lot of time)
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(would be real sad if there was nothing at the end no?)
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(this is to torture those with tiny screens...scroll fools! SCROLL MORE!)
...
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...
...
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(If your screen is large, i hate you..stop reading my blog and go watch teletubbies you large screen freak)
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I'm an evil alien (green...with stubby...alien arms...with a head larger than my body..with a mouth that is constantly emitting wierd...alien noises...with no hair...wait, isn't that biquan?(cue twilight zone music))monster plotting to take over the world
I am sorry for hiding my identity for so long, even among some of my (imaginary) closest friends, please don't kick me out of the school because of the fact that i am an alien, i have feelings too!
Of course there might be some of you thickheaded ones who don't believe me...(even worse are the people that do believe me)...
So if you're obviously schizo, and hear voices in your head telling you i'm totally freaking insane. Well, the voices are right, but you're still schizo.
So for all of you (schizo) people out there, heres the real truth--> I've lost all my hair, i lost 20cm, and my face grew rounder and larger, i am currently emoing in my room, and i've been wearing a wig for the past 3 weeks. My computer keyboard is covered in red, wait no, black emo blood, mixed with eyeshadow, mascara and lots and lots of black hair dye and emo-smelling hair-gel.
Now that i have wasted five minutes of your overrated life, i now have my excuse that i have posted. Goodbye. Good luck for EOYS.
If you believed that, you are obviously a)Blind b)Stupid c)Blind and Stupid d) Elmo
And if you need me to explain why you shouldn't believe that, you have the IQ of a coffee stain.
Just in case coffee stains read my blog, the statement two paragraphs ago can't possibly be true because i am an evil lying alien...DUH
Now that we've tripled your IQ, its time for me to get...well not serious because i'm never serious on this blog...but it's time to rant more seriously.
I hate taxi roaches. What are taxi roaches?Well...what are roaches? They're ugly, and they piss you off. What are taxis? Cars that drive you places for a ridiculous sum of money unless you are traveling in Singapore at 2am in the morning. Well what are taxi roaches then? Ugly people that piss you off while taking taxi because they jump out of nowhere and steal the taxi that was driving right at you. See the connection? I don't.
Today, i urgently needed to get a taxi. It's like how when you need to piss real bad, but there's never a toilet around? Yeah that was the feeling (minus the pissing). I waited for 15 minutes!900 seconds! for a single taxi to drive by me. But there were none.
Suddenly, (it was a dark and stormy night) a glimmering beacon of hope appeared! TAXI, with flashing beautiful, exotic, wonderful, colorful green lettering! I was just about to stretch out my hand...And suddenly, my view was obscured by a bunch of guys that looked like they were going to a death metal concert.
One guy had a Mohawk that made the Gatsby advert guy look like elmo, the other guy had more piercings on his face than i had teeth. The rest..i couldn't see because they were obscured by a large cloud of (menthol) cigarette smoke.
For fear that they would litter the Singapore river with my body parts (they should see Mrs Foo about that, she seemed really enthusiastic about taking apart body parts during the biology DMP) , i decided to let them have the taxi, in full confidence that i would not be that unlucky again.
Taxi roaching is an art. First, you must gain better ground, if your target is standing at the bus stop waiting for a taxi, wait in front of the bus stop, if your target is standing in front of the bus stop, wait at the end of the road where there is an intersection(in front of the person in front of the bus-stop), if your target is standing at the end of the road where there is an intersection(in front of the person in front of the bus-stop), wait at the opposite side of the road, closer to where the taxis are coming in from. And if your target is standing there...go back to the bus stop and laugh about it on your blog. Next you must assert your dominance :if you can't beat your soon-to-be roached target into a billion tiny little bloody bits, then you must assault the conscience.
While i was waiting for the taxi, this aunty with a child hopped over in front of me, ready to roach me till i cry. I wasn't the only one thinking of crying of course, as the child happened to be doing a lot of that, plus incoherent sobbing that coherently sounded like impatient gasps of incoherence.
Yet again the taxi approached, probably recognising that i had been roached, the taxi driver sportingly drove in front of me instead of the aunty. It was at this moment, that 2 decades of roaching experience matched up to my measly 20 minutes of experience, and she gave me this horrible stare, that made me feel as if i had killed a kitten, a really cute kitten, with a real large stone, which had spikes on them, spikes which had rat poison on them, which i had used previously to kill the mother and father of the kitten, whose corpses i tossed into Kallang drain...well you get the idea.
Defeated, I gave this feeble sort of wave thingy, which i meant to mean "let her take it". The taxi driver, obviously annoyed that i rejected his gesture of Friendliness, Understandingly Carried the lady and her child with Kindness.(little kids and coffee stains, look away!)
By the time the next taxi came along, i almost couldn't be bothered to attempt to flag it down, there was this woman who had cleverly positioned herself 10 metres away from the spot i was in, obviously a master at work- close enough to steal my taxis, but far enough to feign blindness and ignorance. Obviously though, i must have looked like a threat to her taxi roaching ambitions, for when the taxi came, she was shaking her hands like the times when we used to play those shaking digivices. Either she was a digimon master, or she was seriously into the taxi roaching, because her hand action really transcended shaking, it was like watching Parkinsons on steroids.
Although the taxi driver, obviously intimidated by the incredible fist of eternal vibration(+10 to taxi driver intimidation) decided to go fetch the taxi roacher instead of the useless inexperienced kid standing 10 metres away- close enough to know what he was doing, but far enough to feign blindness and ignorance, by sheer beginners luck, another taxi came along!
As i was about to get into the taxi, i noticed the other taxi was unable to bring the lady to her destination and therefore she had to find another one. Our eyes met for a split-second moment, and in that moment, we both knew that there was one taxi-and two of us. With agility i had not demonstrated in 3 months, i slid into the taxi, gave my destination, and shut the door real tight, in one slick movement.
Sampson-1 Taxi Roacher-0
As the taxi drove past her, i could have sworn i heard the woman cursing fluently in perfect beijing mandrin, and that gleaming moment of triumph lasted a glorious two minutes until i realized that it was in fact not 2am in the morning and i was paying a ridiculous sum of money to be 30 minutes late.
Monday, August 13, 2007
I am uninspired and uncreative and sad and emo beacause i am yet again unable to come up with a title
Some of you are wondering, why i have not posted. Why have i been slacking? Why am i such a lazy asshole? Well obviously, you're not from RI.
Why do i say that? Is it because i have turned into a get-out-of-my-elitist-uncaring-face-son-of-some-hotshot-in-a-hotshot-school? Is it because i want to suan you about my indecently high gpa? Is it because I want to prove that i am a thinker, leader, pioneer?
Fortunately and unfortunately (unfortunately because i didn't get an indecently high gpa, because i got lower than biquan and when biquan got his results he looked like someone kicked him in the balls)....no. It is because RI has only given us a common class test only twice a week. I mean wow, it must be real slack and all, only twice a week! I am so overjoyed that RI has decided to keep the pressure off students so they can develop to their fullest potential in a comfortable and condusive learning environment! I mean, at least two tests every week for half of the term isn't going to kill you. I mean, common class tests aren't even high watage, compared to the new End Of Year that is added onto this totally no pressure environment!
Talking about End Of Year, i was quite pleased, finally something that isn't a misnomer in RI. Finally they decided to be honest about something, instead of disguising tests with words like differentiated assignment, common class tests, quiz, assignment. You name it, RI has probably named a test that too. I mean seriously? What has differentiated assignment got anything to do with tests?
" The key to a differentiated classroom is that all students are regularly offered CHOICES and students are matched with tasks compatible with their individual learner profiles." http://www.scusd.edu/gate_ext_learning/differentiated.htm
I didn't even capitalise the choices, the website did it for me. What choice do we have when we do a differentiated assignment? Oh wait, i know! To pass or to fail terribly.
But back to end of year. It is basically exactly what it means : An end of year. It is so aptly named i highly doubt anyone from RI named it, because RI has a tradition of not being able to spell the word "test" without adding something in front, behind, or perhaps changing a few words and throwing in a few catchphrases just to make it sound snazzy. It is held at the end of the school year. It is an end of year test. It constitutes such a horribly high watage, it's probably the end of your year(or your life for that matter). It constitutes such a high watage (40%.. yes people, you did all those differenciated assignments for nothing) that if you don't mug till your entire life is wasted away before you, you are going to die when you get your results back.
And basically that is why I havn't posted. Because i like to give meaningless excuses so i can ramble on about absolutely nothing at all to disguise the fact that i am an utter procrastinator for everything including eating, sleeping, brushing of teeth, blogging, and so much more importantly than the rest of my insignificant life , mugging for the occasional common class test.
On to more cheerful things. Like biquan :):):) I think hes a great sport, after all the bitching i've done about him on my blog (which he reads all the time... thats right kids! If you want to be cool and popular like Biquan, Read Sampson's blog!) He has not been totally emoing me and asking me "what are your problems!" So, yes Biquan is totally cool and i think he is a great, bighearted guy and is totally nice and calm.
And now that we have set that straight, i can proceed to make fun of his blog.(He agreed to this by the way, just in case you people get all sad and angry because the i'm always bullying the small guy)
(and here i was supposed to suan biquan but the problem is that i was too busy procrastinating to do it)
because i was watching.. this
So yeah, tag me, even though i'm procrastinating.
Why do i say that? Is it because i have turned into a get-out-of-my-elitist-uncaring-face-son-of-some-hotshot-in-a-hotshot-school? Is it because i want to suan you about my indecently high gpa? Is it because I want to prove that i am a thinker, leader, pioneer?
Fortunately and unfortunately (unfortunately because i didn't get an indecently high gpa, because i got lower than biquan and when biquan got his results he looked like someone kicked him in the balls)....no. It is because RI has only given us a common class test only twice a week. I mean wow, it must be real slack and all, only twice a week! I am so overjoyed that RI has decided to keep the pressure off students so they can develop to their fullest potential in a comfortable and condusive learning environment! I mean, at least two tests every week for half of the term isn't going to kill you. I mean, common class tests aren't even high watage, compared to the new End Of Year that is added onto this totally no pressure environment!
Talking about End Of Year, i was quite pleased, finally something that isn't a misnomer in RI. Finally they decided to be honest about something, instead of disguising tests with words like differentiated assignment, common class tests, quiz, assignment. You name it, RI has probably named a test that too. I mean seriously? What has differentiated assignment got anything to do with tests?
" The key to a differentiated classroom is that all students are regularly offered CHOICES and students are matched with tasks compatible with their individual learner profiles." http://www.scusd.edu/gate_ext_learning/differentiated.htm
I didn't even capitalise the choices, the website did it for me. What choice do we have when we do a differentiated assignment? Oh wait, i know! To pass or to fail terribly.
But back to end of year. It is basically exactly what it means : An end of year. It is so aptly named i highly doubt anyone from RI named it, because RI has a tradition of not being able to spell the word "test" without adding something in front, behind, or perhaps changing a few words and throwing in a few catchphrases just to make it sound snazzy. It is held at the end of the school year. It is an end of year test. It constitutes such a horribly high watage, it's probably the end of your year(or your life for that matter). It constitutes such a high watage (40%.. yes people, you did all those differenciated assignments for nothing) that if you don't mug till your entire life is wasted away before you, you are going to die when you get your results back.
And basically that is why I havn't posted. Because i like to give meaningless excuses so i can ramble on about absolutely nothing at all to disguise the fact that i am an utter procrastinator for everything including eating, sleeping, brushing of teeth, blogging, and so much more importantly than the rest of my insignificant life , mugging for the occasional common class test.
On to more cheerful things. Like biquan :):):) I think hes a great sport, after all the bitching i've done about him on my blog (which he reads all the time... thats right kids! If you want to be cool and popular like Biquan, Read Sampson's blog!) He has not been totally emoing me and asking me "what are your problems!" So, yes Biquan is totally cool and i think he is a great, bighearted guy and is totally nice and calm.
And now that we have set that straight, i can proceed to make fun of his blog.(He agreed to this by the way, just in case you people get all sad and angry because the i'm always bullying the small guy)
(and here i was supposed to suan biquan but the problem is that i was too busy procrastinating to do it)
because i was watching.. this
So yeah, tag me, even though i'm procrastinating.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
I'm running out of blog titles
If you're the sort of person who likes thematically or alphabetically classifying his/her worksheets, actually packs your bag and/or is obsessed with the concept of structure, this blog post is not for you.I'm slowly degenerating into senseless randomness and low-blow-bitching so keep away!
Firstly, an apology letter.
Mingjie looked very hurt and betrayed after my comment about his acne color, he even stopped making lame jokes for 3 whole days!72 hours!4320 minutes! He looked so sad and emo that it ravaged my conscience; What will the world be without Mingjie and his square smile disrupting productive, sensible life? So here it is:
I Sampson Lim Jie Hao,
Hereby apologies for the stated misdemeanors:
1) Accusing him of having acne, of which he has no control over. (That's like blaming Sumo for twitching his head every 0.02 minutes (3sf))
2) Accusing his acne of unatural enlargement and discolouration.
3)Slandering him of lift sneaking.
a) Mingjie never took the lift with me.
b) Mingjie is a nice, good natured, law abiding boy
c) I am delusional, i never saw Mingjie in the lift, i conjured him up from the recesses of my frenzied mind.
Sincerest Apologies,
Sampson Lim
But seriously though, Mingjie lighten up! Don't turn emo cos i said your acne is purple, I don't want you to end up bald and short as well. (I know i'm going to be flamed again)
I didn't attend cross country, but from what i heard, it was really exciting and unexpected. Shi Kai got a prize and Weifeng didn't. Biquan didn't win anything.
Some of you all (my sadly dwindling blog readers) might be wondering, why are you so boring Sampson, why are all your blogposts dominated by things that have absolutely nothing to do with you? All i have to say is: Don't make me whine about my leg.
I forgot to mention i watched the Simpsons. I am quite disappointed to say i was quite disappointed.(This is what happens when your teachers make jokes about concentrating during concentration.) The movie was funny, but it was slightly disturbing to see people laughing so hard at Bart's dick waving around, and Homer sticking a hammer into his eye. I mean, it must be real sad if you flash someone and they start banging their hands on their seats and laughing and laughing and laughing...
Also the problem was that all the funny bits were shown in the trailers, like hearing Arnold Schwarzenegger going on about reading and leading for the 52nd time just isn't very amusing. And the sex scene between Marge and Homer (Yes people there is a sex scene) leaves way too much to twisted imagination: Why were the animals so terrified during the sex scene? Was it because Marge Simpson was doing something with her blue hair?
I think DMP is the dumbest idea ever, but with a 2 week pseudo-holiday -i'm not complaining. However, after checking out the course list, i realize that there are only a measly few modules that actually has no homework. The bulk of the modules involve homework crudely disguised as "performance tasks" or "source based analysis". Needless to say i will one of those no-lifer people(s0me pe0ple arr just jeal0us(oh no my spellcheck is going crazy)) camping the computer at 12 noon, spamming the "submit" button so that i'll leave the rest of you sad,sad people with modules like "Linear algebra" which has a written test for its assessment column.
TAG ME.
Firstly, an apology letter.
Mingjie looked very hurt and betrayed after my comment about his acne color, he even stopped making lame jokes for 3 whole days!72 hours!4320 minutes! He looked so sad and emo that it ravaged my conscience; What will the world be without Mingjie and his square smile disrupting productive, sensible life? So here it is:
I Sampson Lim Jie Hao,
Hereby apologies for the stated misdemeanors:
1) Accusing him of having acne, of which he has no control over. (That's like blaming Sumo for twitching his head every 0.02 minutes (3sf))
2) Accusing his acne of unatural enlargement and discolouration.
3)Slandering him of lift sneaking.
a) Mingjie never took the lift with me.
b) Mingjie is a nice, good natured, law abiding boy
c) I am delusional, i never saw Mingjie in the lift, i conjured him up from the recesses of my frenzied mind.
Sincerest Apologies,
Sampson Lim
But seriously though, Mingjie lighten up! Don't turn emo cos i said your acne is purple, I don't want you to end up bald and short as well. (I know i'm going to be flamed again)
I didn't attend cross country, but from what i heard, it was really exciting and unexpected. Shi Kai got a prize and Weifeng didn't. Biquan didn't win anything.
Some of you all (my sadly dwindling blog readers) might be wondering, why are you so boring Sampson, why are all your blogposts dominated by things that have absolutely nothing to do with you? All i have to say is: Don't make me whine about my leg.
I forgot to mention i watched the Simpsons. I am quite disappointed to say i was quite disappointed.(This is what happens when your teachers make jokes about concentrating during concentration.) The movie was funny, but it was slightly disturbing to see people laughing so hard at Bart's dick waving around, and Homer sticking a hammer into his eye. I mean, it must be real sad if you flash someone and they start banging their hands on their seats and laughing and laughing and laughing...
Also the problem was that all the funny bits were shown in the trailers, like hearing Arnold Schwarzenegger going on about reading and leading for the 52nd time just isn't very amusing. And the sex scene between Marge and Homer (Yes people there is a sex scene) leaves way too much to twisted imagination: Why were the animals so terrified during the sex scene? Was it because Marge Simpson was doing something with her blue hair?
I think DMP is the dumbest idea ever, but with a 2 week pseudo-holiday -i'm not complaining. However, after checking out the course list, i realize that there are only a measly few modules that actually has no homework. The bulk of the modules involve homework crudely disguised as "performance tasks" or "source based analysis". Needless to say i will one of those no-lifer people(s0me pe0ple arr just jeal0us(oh no my spellcheck is going crazy)) camping the computer at 12 noon, spamming the "submit" button so that i'll leave the rest of you sad,sad people with modules like "Linear algebra" which has a written test for its assessment column.
TAG ME.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Lift abuse
Fine, so i havn't posted in a week(or two)
I'm so frustrated by this crappy-shit-redudant-homework-thing that has been going around, if i hear any other teacher saying 'your class is behind time'(which is usually followed by extra lessons) or a teacher clasping her hands with a face that never stops smiling and goes like 'i have good news and bad news! i just stole your free period! and you will be seeing a lot of me! *grin*' or justifying homework because it 'isnt too much' or someone telling me i should go to cross country so that i can give moral support to runners... i will kick something i really will. (Now you know why my leg takes so long to heal.)
I mean why should i go cross country, what am i going to do when i get there? What moral support do you need when you're running 4.2km? What do they want me to do?Limp around bedok reservoir, encouraging them to 'go all out! do it for buckley! three participation points yeah! only 328424308 more steps to go!' (notice the ratio 3: 328424308, thats how much you're worth everybody)
And don't get me started on homework. Or math TAs, or chinese cct, or math ccts, or english pen awards, or chinese composs(because four chinese compos warrants more ses), or RE report, or physics quiz or bio cct...well you get the idea.
Well anyway, on to more wierd matters.
Like the lift.
I just realised just how little my lift pass is worth and if you didn't know either, lets examine some case studies!(*grin*)
case study 1:
I limp into the lift. Mingjie walks in. 'Haha Sampson lemme carry your...wallet!' Ding, 4th floor, a teacher walks in, Mingjie is so nervous his acne starts swelling. 'Uh sir i was just helping him with his-' 'okay' (the teacher doesn't even look up!) Ding, 2nd floor a female teacher walks in, the male teacher strikes up a conversation of something totally unrelated and unintresting with the female teacher. None of them notice that a wholly healthy, fit non-teacher (with an alarming amount of purple acne at that moment) is standing in the very lift clutching my wallet!'
case study 2:
I limp into the lift. A boy in sweaty PE clothes runs in. I mention that i won't save his skin if he gets caught. 'Oh don't worry i've got a lift pass, you know, for my eye'(suddenly starts to blink repeatedly to prove his point) .
This one just stunned me, i just wanted so bad to ask 'How in any way does an injured eye impair your ability to climb stairs?' Perhaps climbing stairs is a tiring ability, sapping all the strength needed for you to blink your eyes! Or perhaps you use eye power to climb stairs! Maybe you use a deadly l337 n1nja eyebeam to facilitate travel through space, time and stairs! But i never got to ask, he was blinking so many times that striking a conversation with him was in itself very distracting.
Please tag me! (Even though i'll probably take forever to post again )
Oh and now a shameless endorsement in the faint hope that i get free shoes! http://hamnhippo.blogspot.com - my friend sells shoes that are self-designed, they're selling fast so go check them out!
-end of the endorsement-
I'm so frustrated by this crappy-shit-redudant-homework-thing that has been going around, if i hear any other teacher saying 'your class is behind time'(which is usually followed by extra lessons) or a teacher clasping her hands with a face that never stops smiling and goes like 'i have good news and bad news! i just stole your free period! and you will be seeing a lot of me! *grin*' or justifying homework because it 'isnt too much' or someone telling me i should go to cross country so that i can give moral support to runners... i will kick something i really will. (Now you know why my leg takes so long to heal.)
I mean why should i go cross country, what am i going to do when i get there? What moral support do you need when you're running 4.2km? What do they want me to do?Limp around bedok reservoir, encouraging them to 'go all out! do it for buckley! three participation points yeah! only 328424308 more steps to go!' (notice the ratio 3: 328424308, thats how much you're worth everybody)
And don't get me started on homework. Or math TAs, or chinese cct, or math ccts, or english pen awards, or chinese composs(because four chinese compos warrants more ses), or RE report, or physics quiz or bio cct...well you get the idea.
Well anyway, on to more wierd matters.
Like the lift.
I just realised just how little my lift pass is worth and if you didn't know either, lets examine some case studies!(*grin*)
case study 1:
I limp into the lift. Mingjie walks in. 'Haha Sampson lemme carry your...wallet!' Ding, 4th floor, a teacher walks in, Mingjie is so nervous his acne starts swelling. 'Uh sir i was just helping him with his-' 'okay' (the teacher doesn't even look up!) Ding, 2nd floor a female teacher walks in, the male teacher strikes up a conversation of something totally unrelated and unintresting with the female teacher. None of them notice that a wholly healthy, fit non-teacher (with an alarming amount of purple acne at that moment) is standing in the very lift clutching my wallet!'
case study 2:
I limp into the lift. A boy in sweaty PE clothes runs in. I mention that i won't save his skin if he gets caught. 'Oh don't worry i've got a lift pass, you know, for my eye'(suddenly starts to blink repeatedly to prove his point) .
This one just stunned me, i just wanted so bad to ask 'How in any way does an injured eye impair your ability to climb stairs?' Perhaps climbing stairs is a tiring ability, sapping all the strength needed for you to blink your eyes! Or perhaps you use eye power to climb stairs! Maybe you use a deadly l337 n1nja eyebeam to facilitate travel through space, time and stairs! But i never got to ask, he was blinking so many times that striking a conversation with him was in itself very distracting.
Please tag me! (Even though i'll probably take forever to post again )
Oh and now a shameless endorsement in the faint hope that i get free shoes! http://hamnhippo.blogspot.com - my friend sells shoes that are self-designed, they're selling fast so go check them out!
-end of the endorsement-
Monday, July 23, 2007
On torn ligaments, dropping blog readerships and that book
I have no idea why, but my blog visitor numbers are dropping rapidly which is very demoralising for my huge, fragile ego.
I have several theories as to why this is so, and it is probably a combination of these few issues:
1) People love spoiler freaks
My blog visitors have dropped rapidly ever since my post about pirates, unfortunately due to several things inclusive of:
More people enjoy the company of *Bob than i expected, therefore they acted aversely to my berating of his more unusual quirks, and in turn thought i was a horrible jerk etcetcetc.
More people are guilty of spoiling the harry potter books than i expected, therefore leading to hidden feelings of guilt and a sort of "evil spoilers solidarity club" which banded against me and decided that i was some trashy rubbish.
Someone wrote something angry on my tagboard, scaring everyone away in fear and terror that the person in question might kill them with a flood of evil float-penguins.
To remove a double-posting, i ineptly accidentally removed the entire (short lived) history of my fledgeling tagboard, which left me with two tags, one which was mine agonising over the mistake, and an obviously sell-out tag by matthew chan, with explicit links to his blog. My empty tagboard led people to assume i was a friendless loser and they would have the social status of a coffee stain if they continued to associate with me.
I scared everyone away with my totally deformed leg.
Suddenly i don't want to post about this anymore, as this is starting to resemble a poorly written history essay, and i was suddenly struck with a bizzare thought of me corrupting the minds of young, impressionable 15 year olds with the public viewing of experiments with, for lack of a better word (look away girls) : the ball sack thing.
If you do not understand my cryptic warning of what is to come, all i can say is, if a certain female history teacher is suddenly gripped with a look akin to that of an aroused meerkat, and announces something about an "exciting part" in the middle of a video on german WWII experiments, well look away,look far, far, far away.
For those people still reading my blog, and are angry with me for not posting over the weekends, well i was busy with what lots of people everywhere was busy with: reading the real harry potter book.
In all fairness it was an enjoyable book, but a little different from the previous harry potter books. To avoid accusations of me being hypocritical or blind or forgetful or dumb or a combination of these, i will avoid spoilers.
The book suffice to say, is a lot faster than the previous six and frankly if you were spoiled before by some mean people, your enjoyment will be diminshed somewhat, although not by very much, as the full story of the book is hard to explain in a few wildly shouted phrases or certain msn nicks, and there will still be plenty of surprises for those of us who were delibrately or accidentally spoilered.
Annoyingly thats all i can say because anything else i say might be considered a spoiler.
I came back to school today really late as i went for a hospital check up. For those who are blind(actually come to think of it if you were blind you wouldn't be reading this) or don't see me at school , my leg is totally screwed up.
The closest thing it resembles in my opinion is an elephants foot, except instead of gray its angry red.
I also found that i tore my ligament(partially) which would keep me out for another 2-6 weeks, which is annoying. After a string of different doctors, i have come to the conclusion that switching doctors once every 3 days is a very screwed up idea and will undoubtedly result in rashes.
My leg feels like a bloody balloon right now so i think its a good time to stop posting.
And do tag, my ego needs feeding.
I have several theories as to why this is so, and it is probably a combination of these few issues:
1) People love spoiler freaks
My blog visitors have dropped rapidly ever since my post about pirates, unfortunately due to several things inclusive of:
More people enjoy the company of *Bob than i expected, therefore they acted aversely to my berating of his more unusual quirks, and in turn thought i was a horrible jerk etcetcetc.
More people are guilty of spoiling the harry potter books than i expected, therefore leading to hidden feelings of guilt and a sort of "evil spoilers solidarity club" which banded against me and decided that i was some trashy rubbish.
Someone wrote something angry on my tagboard, scaring everyone away in fear and terror that the person in question might kill them with a flood of evil float-penguins.
To remove a double-posting, i ineptly accidentally removed the entire (short lived) history of my fledgeling tagboard, which left me with two tags, one which was mine agonising over the mistake, and an obviously sell-out tag by matthew chan, with explicit links to his blog. My empty tagboard led people to assume i was a friendless loser and they would have the social status of a coffee stain if they continued to associate with me.
I scared everyone away with my totally deformed leg.
Suddenly i don't want to post about this anymore, as this is starting to resemble a poorly written history essay, and i was suddenly struck with a bizzare thought of me corrupting the minds of young, impressionable 15 year olds with the public viewing of experiments with, for lack of a better word (look away girls) : the ball sack thing.
If you do not understand my cryptic warning of what is to come, all i can say is, if a certain female history teacher is suddenly gripped with a look akin to that of an aroused meerkat, and announces something about an "exciting part" in the middle of a video on german WWII experiments, well look away,look far, far, far away.
For those people still reading my blog, and are angry with me for not posting over the weekends, well i was busy with what lots of people everywhere was busy with: reading the real harry potter book.
In all fairness it was an enjoyable book, but a little different from the previous harry potter books. To avoid accusations of me being hypocritical or blind or forgetful or dumb or a combination of these, i will avoid spoilers.
The book suffice to say, is a lot faster than the previous six and frankly if you were spoiled before by some mean people, your enjoyment will be diminshed somewhat, although not by very much, as the full story of the book is hard to explain in a few wildly shouted phrases or certain msn nicks, and there will still be plenty of surprises for those of us who were delibrately or accidentally spoilered.
Annoyingly thats all i can say because anything else i say might be considered a spoiler.
I came back to school today really late as i went for a hospital check up. For those who are blind(actually come to think of it if you were blind you wouldn't be reading this) or don't see me at school , my leg is totally screwed up.
The closest thing it resembles in my opinion is an elephants foot, except instead of gray its angry red.
I also found that i tore my ligament(partially) which would keep me out for another 2-6 weeks, which is annoying. After a string of different doctors, i have come to the conclusion that switching doctors once every 3 days is a very screwed up idea and will undoubtedly result in rashes.
My leg feels like a bloody balloon right now so i think its a good time to stop posting.
And do tag, my ego needs feeding.
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